Remember that annoying friend or partner who bashes everything around and tries to spew venom in your mind and heart. In short, they are the people who stress you out! Toxic people are known to lynch on other’s insecurities or vulnerable and feed on the same, till the host is all drained out and drenched in negativity. They attempt to knit a spiral around a vulnerable mind so as to damage the same with utmost subtlety. Toxic people can make you question all your emotional quotients like your ‘over-reactiveness,’ your ‘oversensitivity,’ your ‘tendency to misinterpret.’ They make you believe that it is you who is at fault, and that is why you end up being hurt. They are entitled and firm in their narrative of putting you down, sometimes without even being impertinent or rude.
Toxic behavior can be really difficult to be recognized. In fact, we can act out these behaviors for most of our adult lives and never realize how we’re wounding ourselves being in the vicinity of such pessimists. They are constantly judgemental, obsessively needy, and/ or refuse to take responsibility for their actions. They refrain from apologizing for their deeds and instead make the other person feel guilty for their conduct. It has been observed that a toxic person is often out of control financially, professionally, physically, personally, and/or interpersonally. They create a mirage of lies and tend to blind and mute the cognitive ability of the other person. Toxic people are draining and leave you emotionally wiped out. They want you to feel sorry for them and responsible for their problems. They just distort the mind and pervade it with toxicity.
Signs of toxic people
Most of the time, toxic people veil themselves in the guise of good friends, partners, or acquaintances, and we tend to turn a blind eye to the fact that they could potentially harm us. Here are a few signs which might help you to detect that ‘snake in the grass.’ If any of these signs sound like your friends, block them right away!
Toxic people make you believe that the problem isn’t the abuse or their conduct, but instead your reactions to their abuse. They unabashedly deny their own manipulative behavior and ignore evidence when confronted with it. They become dismissive and critical if you attempt to question their lies and fabrications. It is always ‘you’ who is at fault.
They can create an excuse for everything, even for things that don’t necessarily need excuses. They are great at cooking up stories and lies faster than you can question them. They spend more time rationalizing their behavior instead of improving it. They express no remorse when their lies are caught and, in turn, derive gratification from your dismay or emotional downgrade.
Selfish and draining
Toxic people drain the energy from you and consume your entire life. They constantly seek adoration from you and are never satisfied with the same. They are psychopaths whose souls can be fulfilled or contented. They make you feel that you are incapable of making anyone happy, while in reality, it is the other way round.
Unaccountable for their mistakes.
If you tell a toxic person that he/she is two hours late, don’t forget you were five minutes late for dinner in 1500 AD! If you try to point out their inappropriate behavior, they will be quick enough to turn the conversation to you and make you feel unworthy of a person. This might indulge you in adopting very perfectionist qualities, very wary that any mistake can and will be used against you.
The Ultimate Hypocrite
Toxic people have extremely high expectations for fidelity, respect, and adoration, and after sometimes, they show their true colors and give none of this back to you. They have the leverage to cheat, lie, manipulate, but you cannot flinch. You are expected to remain perfect, lest you will be immediately replaced or labeled as an unsuitable person.
Impact of Toxic People on Your Life
- Toxic people are very manipulative in nature. If you are at peace with yourself, you will suddenly start feeling remorse or a profound feel of guilt or unworthiness. Toxic people create a sense of low self-esteem and tend to manipulate the other person by exercising control. They make you question your identity and, in some extreme cases, leads to self-doubt or depression.
- Toxic people make you lose control of your life. You fail to navigate the right to achieve a balanced psyche, and even if you do, they deter you from achieving your goal. They disturb the entire mental, emotional, and sentimental balance and thereby attempt to make you dependent on their validation. You just become a slave of their approval.
- These people tend to disregard your need and boundary and will continue to violate your wishes. They are very selfish in nature, and hence they are oblivious to your happiness or personal circumstances. They are never supportive of your likes/dislikes and tend to walk all over you.
- Toxic people will regularly put you in a position where you have to choose between them and something else- and you will always feel obliged to choose them. And despite all your efforts to make them happy, nothing will be enough. They are just greedy souls feeding on others’ efforts as parasites, willing to give nothing in return.
- These people will be relentlessly judging you for all your needs and make sure that you get reminded of your mistakes over and over again. They compel you to compromise your self-esteem and make you feel less of a person every time. It is demeaning at every level, but they will sugar coat so that you will take their words as verses of the Bible.
How to Avoid Toxic People
Toxic people get you stuck in the never-ending loop of negativity and cynicism. You cant forward, and neither can you succeed. Hence it becomes necessary to cut such people off our lives and have a peaceful state of mind. Here are some tips to avoid toxic people.
Identify the Toxicity
The first solution to any problem is to identify the problem. Since toxic people are very manipulative and are disguised most of the time, it becomes imperative that they are difficult to be identified. If anyone in your social circle consistently belittles you of your existence or bringing you down significantly more than building you, then he/she is a toxic person in your life. Toxic people are a distraction from your true purpose of life.
It is very important to have a periphery of conduct of social interaction, the intrusion of which should never be tolerated. If you chose to deter a toxic person from entering your life, make sure you stick to your resolve and don’t get manipulated by the same. Once you have made the decision, it is your responsibility to keep the guidelines clear and conform to the same.
Know that it’s over
Toxic people will keep coming back to you again and again if you let them do so. So when you decide to say goodbye, make sure it’s the final one. It is advisable to establish clear limits of interactions if the toxic person within the family. Else just block them for good. If you want drama, just watch “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”! You don’t need that cynic to create that for you.
In today’s world, being overly sweet and kind can be highly detrimental. People tend to take advantage of any kind of generosity, toxic people being at the top of the chart. It is very important to realize the fact that they get their energy from draining your good loving nature and tend to thrive on your kindness. It does not mean that you have to be cruel. Just stop being overly accommodating and benign.
Focus on the Positive
As cliché as it may sound, if you keep hovering about how infuriating toxic people can be or the problems they create, it will stress you out immensely. So do your best to catch yourself when you start to fixate on the negative and try to consciously switch your thoughts to solutions or more positive situations. Toxic people just don’t deserve your mental energy.
Surround Yourself with Positivity
To maintain resilience and detoxify the mind from those toxic thoughts of that toxic person, stay connected, and close to your support system, who make you feel cherished, happy, and safe. These are the people who will never question your worth or belittle you in any way. They model healthy friendships and relationships, reminding you exactly why you are choosing to sever the toxic ones!
So never let anyone make you feel unworthy. You deserve the skies and more!